It's been exactly three months since my last post. Life's been kinda busy lately, but at the same time I haven't had a lot of ideas for blogging lately. That might be partly due to going through a bit of a spiritual doldrum... just stuck in one of those ruts, which can be especially frustrating when accompanied by repetitive sins. That's why I look back and wonder how I ever made it without Confession and the Eucharist. This past weekend, while chaperoning at the Ignite Your Torch youth conference, I thought back to the many similar conferences I attended with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship while a student at University of Louisville. Wouldn't it be odd to attend a conference now -- having been Catholic for a little over a year -- and see no religious brothers and sisters, no priests, no opportunities for sacramental grace through Confession and Holy Communion, no holy water, no Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, and of course, no exorcists! Heck, I'd even miss the Latin. :)
A few months ago, I attended a Protestant candlelight prayer meeting at Centre College, and while it's always great to listen to and reflect on Scripture in a sacred space, it just wasn't the same. I have a feeling going to an InterVarsity conference now would leave me with the same feeling, like eating three bites of a steak: very good, but I'm hungry for a lot more. The funny thing is, as a Protestant I used to hear Catholics say the same kinds of things I'm saying now, and I thought they were half nuts or had too much of the Kool-Aid. Well, I guess of that "Kool-Aid" is the Blood of Christ, count me in!
Of course, like just about every conference I've attended, Ignite was yet another "Transfiguration" experience. While I've grown past the need for strong emotional experiences at these gatherings, my relationship with God is feeling much stronger. Plus, while I took a lot of notes from different talks, one bit of advice that I know will prove useful is to offer up to God the sufferings of temptation, joining them with the sufferings of Christ on the cross. I'm also more firmly resolved to resume going to daily Mass at least once a week (which I did during Lent) and spend at least an hour a week at Adoration. There are other things I'd like to do, like start running regularly and going to bed earlier every night, but I pray those disciplines will be some of the fruit bore from more frequently receiving Communion and kneeling in Adoration.
Showing posts with label Confession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Confession. Show all posts
30 July 2007
30 April 2007
One thing I love about Confession...
...is that it's one place I never have to be pretend to be holy or righteous.
Sometimes, especially when you feel that ickiness of sin all over your soul, you almost feel like you're lying to yourself and everyone around you by actually going to church or saying grace. It's so refreshing to have a sacred place where we can be washed clean once again, knowing with full confidence that although, like the Prodigal Son, we have sinned against Heaven and against you, Christ created a place where Heaven and earth meet -- a sacrament -- to continually reconcile His children to one another and Himself.
To use a little Evangelical language, what a wonderful and awesome gift it is to have Jesus as a personal accountability partner! Of course, the sacrament of Reconciliation is so much more effective than the Protestant practice of accountability partners. When you are accountable to just another sinner, it's easy to bend the truth, tell a little white lie, or a big lie. Of course, you can lie to Jesus too, but you can't fool Him and you know it.
And even more, you get to hear Jesus personally say to you (through the priest) those redeeming words, "I forgive you of all your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." Having confessed your sins with a contrite heart, you can walk away knowing with full confidence that your soul is free of the stain of sin -- if it only lasts for a short time, it's a good feeling regardless.
I never got that feeling from any other accountability partner :)
Sometimes, especially when you feel that ickiness of sin all over your soul, you almost feel like you're lying to yourself and everyone around you by actually going to church or saying grace. It's so refreshing to have a sacred place where we can be washed clean once again, knowing with full confidence that although, like the Prodigal Son, we have sinned against Heaven and against you, Christ created a place where Heaven and earth meet -- a sacrament -- to continually reconcile His children to one another and Himself.
To use a little Evangelical language, what a wonderful and awesome gift it is to have Jesus as a personal accountability partner! Of course, the sacrament of Reconciliation is so much more effective than the Protestant practice of accountability partners. When you are accountable to just another sinner, it's easy to bend the truth, tell a little white lie, or a big lie. Of course, you can lie to Jesus too, but you can't fool Him and you know it.
And even more, you get to hear Jesus personally say to you (through the priest) those redeeming words, "I forgive you of all your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." Having confessed your sins with a contrite heart, you can walk away knowing with full confidence that your soul is free of the stain of sin -- if it only lasts for a short time, it's a good feeling regardless.
I never got that feeling from any other accountability partner :)
06 June 2006
What's a "good Christian"?
I believe I've talked about this before, but at 25 years old, I'm starting to become senile and talk about the same things over and over again. Actually, I was hanging out with some folks earlier and got to thinking about this again after hearing someone talk about some girl who claims to be a good Christian while basically denying a lot of her sins. What strikes me is how someone could really be a good Christian? Think about it... the reason for following Christ is that we turn to him for redemption from our sins. And for that reason, confession of sins is at the core of being a Christian. What it comes down to is that on the outside there is often little difference between Christians and non-Christians (barring the expemplary examples of certain saints and church leaders), but since others' deeds are what we observe, that's how we end up judging people in our minds. Yet the only thing that counts is our heart -- that when we confess our sins, we sincerely desire not to sin again. Of course, that's the kind of stuff only God can see while he forgets the juicy stuff; we only see (and remember) the juicy stuff while usually having little idea about where others truly stand before God.
16 April 2006
Well, it's official...
You sure can't beat the Saturday Sacrament Trifecta Special... Reconciliation (most people call it Confession, but that's only one part of the sacrament), Confirmation, and Communion all in one day. Badda-boom, badda-bang. I was actually looking forward to Confession, but that didn't mean I wasn't nervous about it. Three of us went Saturday morning and it had to be hilarious watching us being so cordial with each other. First, one lady had to use the restroom, so she skidattled out of the sanctuary for a minute, leaving me and this other guy. So I said, "I don't know if you have to be anywhere, so if you need to, go on ahead of me."
And he replied, "Oh, I've got all day! You go ahead."
"Well, I might be in there a while..."
"Take as long as you want!"
Then the other lady comes back and I'm sure she was hoping somebody would already be in the confessional by then, but we're still out there talking about who should go first. We really should've played paper-rock-scissors for it.
But it really wasn't that bad. I had a pretty good list written down on my piece of paper (not that I'm trying to brag...), but once I started reading them off, it didn't feel like more than two minutes before I was done. There were a couple of things that I wanted to mention specifically, where I could have simply alluded to them by saying something like, "yeah... I've struggled with lust." After all, that could be a million different things. But getting specific with your sins ain't easy. My voice stuttered and my left knee was jumpin' up and down... I hadn't been that nervous since asking a girl out for senior prom, but I just ignored it all and focused on being as honest as possible (without getting into details, of course). Of course, God provided the grace and courage; I was simply open to it, as opposed to the many times when I'm trying to cover something up or make something I did wrong not sound as bad as it really is.
So after that was all over with, I didn't feel anything real miraculous, but it was very comforting to know that everything I've done was just wiped clean and forgotten. In the past, it's always been difficult to "feel" clean just because I'm aware of my sinful nature and how susceptible I am to straying from God and falling into old patterns. When you can remember much of what you've done and the people your sin has affected remember what you've done, it's difficult to imagine that God can forget everything and make us clean as the day we were born (if not cleaner, since baptism washes away the stain of original sin).
And not only that, but we are counted worthy to receive Christ not just spiritually, but physically. Think about how dangerous the Holy of Holies was. Only one priest was allowed to enter every year so that he could make the annual sacrificial offering of Israel's sins (I'll have to look up what that offering was called). If he didn't perform the ritual correctly, stayed in God's Presence too long, or whatever, the wrath of God would kill him. I've heard they even tied a rope around the priest's ankle so that if he died, another priest from outside the curtain could drag his body out. Now, under the New Covenant, God humbles Himself under the appearances of bread and wine so that every person can enjoy the most intimate communion in God's Presence that was never possible under the Old Covenant. Pretty cool stuff :)
And he replied, "Oh, I've got all day! You go ahead."
"Well, I might be in there a while..."
"Take as long as you want!"
Then the other lady comes back and I'm sure she was hoping somebody would already be in the confessional by then, but we're still out there talking about who should go first. We really should've played paper-rock-scissors for it.
But it really wasn't that bad. I had a pretty good list written down on my piece of paper (not that I'm trying to brag...), but once I started reading them off, it didn't feel like more than two minutes before I was done. There were a couple of things that I wanted to mention specifically, where I could have simply alluded to them by saying something like, "yeah... I've struggled with lust." After all, that could be a million different things. But getting specific with your sins ain't easy. My voice stuttered and my left knee was jumpin' up and down... I hadn't been that nervous since asking a girl out for senior prom, but I just ignored it all and focused on being as honest as possible (without getting into details, of course). Of course, God provided the grace and courage; I was simply open to it, as opposed to the many times when I'm trying to cover something up or make something I did wrong not sound as bad as it really is.
So after that was all over with, I didn't feel anything real miraculous, but it was very comforting to know that everything I've done was just wiped clean and forgotten. In the past, it's always been difficult to "feel" clean just because I'm aware of my sinful nature and how susceptible I am to straying from God and falling into old patterns. When you can remember much of what you've done and the people your sin has affected remember what you've done, it's difficult to imagine that God can forget everything and make us clean as the day we were born (if not cleaner, since baptism washes away the stain of original sin).
And not only that, but we are counted worthy to receive Christ not just spiritually, but physically. Think about how dangerous the Holy of Holies was. Only one priest was allowed to enter every year so that he could make the annual sacrificial offering of Israel's sins (I'll have to look up what that offering was called). If he didn't perform the ritual correctly, stayed in God's Presence too long, or whatever, the wrath of God would kill him. I've heard they even tied a rope around the priest's ankle so that if he died, another priest from outside the curtain could drag his body out. Now, under the New Covenant, God humbles Himself under the appearances of bread and wine so that every person can enjoy the most intimate communion in God's Presence that was never possible under the Old Covenant. Pretty cool stuff :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)